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Tuesday 30 March 2010
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Does AC have to spend his time poking his finger into every orifice he has? So far tonight he has poked the digit into his ear, his nostril and his mouth, what is the man looking for?
ReplyDeleteJadedoldie, your 20:11:
ReplyDeleteHis brain.
I know exactly where that is, it's behind the pile of unicorn s**t, to the left of the bulls**t!
ReplyDeleteJH
ReplyDeleteBegorra, it's the Muppet Show from Norn Oirland.
astroplums, Pursuing your point from the previous posting, I frequently doze off during TOS and wake feeling that I have missed nothing.
ReplyDeleteI know you will not be reading this because I expect you are cooking up a storm with the delicious Sophie.
jaded 2011
ReplyDeleteBe fair to poor old AC. Since she started seeing the dimwit*, sorry the highly intelligent latin scholar**, things haven't been the same for the old boy.
* Porn film star & director
** P--s taker of Americans
astroplums, surely you have not switched your allegiance from Rachel, I cannot believe you are so fickle. Can anyone tell me who the guest is tomorrow, I let my brain idle in neutral at the end of TOS and missed the announcement. I do so hope it is someone unfamiliar with the show as I love to watch the disbelief and confusion show on their faces as the show unfolds. I am indeed an evil old woman, lol.
ReplyDelete2041 JH
ReplyDeleteI forgot! Thanks - back shortly!
JH
ReplyDeleteDear me, between Rachels pins, Sophie bazookas, consonants and recipes, I am a wreck.
Somebody is going to end up as a dry wizened little husk of a man if he doesn't suppress his appetites, lol.
ReplyDeleteJaded
ReplyDeleteIt's Debbie Reynolds tomorrow. She must be getting on a bit.
astro, the older they are the more grateful they are, lol.
ReplyDeletejadedoldie
ReplyDeleteYou wanted an American to be confused by the format, looks like you got lucky.
flunk, don't really care about the nationality, just love the expressions that travel over the faces of the innocent who believe they are going to participate in a chat show. The chance to promote their book/show/dvd/album suddenly becomes a confusing journey through wonderland, lol.
ReplyDeleteflunk & Jaded.
ReplyDeleteIt is obvious that nobody on TOS ever explains the program's 'unique format', especially to overseas guests. The poor souls look more and more bewildered as they become totally sidelined. Eventually it becomes very apparent TOS is really all about the presenters.
CB's bestest friend Amanda Holden was on LBC this morning claiming CB was a wonderful, natural, unaffected girl. How she (CB) pinches herself everyday at her good fortune. Amanda Holden went on to say that she did a great job on TOS. The BBC should find her more presenting work or she should go to ITV as she has no golden handcuffs with them. It would appear tha AH is now CB's PR agent.
ReplyDeleteDebbie Reynolds.... oh Tammy
ReplyDeletedanedweller 1841
ReplyDeleteAmanda Holden is the most self obsessed creature in the kingdom. Mother always told me I would be judged by the company I keep, so the same must apply to CB, I reckon.
What was Holden plugging?
Never understand how the woman gets work as she is hopeless.
Amanda Holden is just another looker, bet Les Dennis is happy.
ReplyDeleteandy 1856
ReplyDeleteHe's well shot of that
astroplums 1841.
ReplyDeleteWhat was she plugging (eyes glaze over) Something about people hugging, she is going to be at the Lakeside shopping centre hugging people,OMG anything for publicity! Also, Britains Got Talent and judged by a talentless nonentity.
andy 18.56
ReplyDeleteAfter spending thousands on getting her ghastly teeth fixed. Google early photographs.
astroplums 1856.
Yes he is, like getting rid of rotting fish it's only after its gone you realise where the smell came from.
She is being given more than the usual 3 minutes! TOS must be reading this blog lol.
ReplyDeleteA very good guest tonight.
Danedweller 1902
ReplyDeleteI think that our upcoming 'hung' parliament may be won by AH & CB. This is CB's first step in taking over the world. The unaffected bit is an Oscar winning performance. AC may be minister for bulls..t.
CB's a bit lively tonight.
ReplyDeleteYes, Debbie Reynolds is a fiesty old girl. Good guest. Shame AC has to stop her funnies midstream. He does panic if he thinks they are going to become too fruity.
ReplyDeleteI think AC doesn't like anyone getting to much attention.
ReplyDeletegaz911
ReplyDeleteShe's on a promise...starters at the Dorchester, pudding in Chelsea.
I can't stand that posh git, the one in the fake rowing boot.
ReplyDeleteboat oops
ReplyDeleteflunk 1922.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't mention where CB's main course will be served, she looks like she needs something substantial inside her!
danedweller
ReplyDeleteVery naughty!
andy 1923
ReplyDeleteLooks like Old Debbie was enjoying his attentions.
Nah, she's an actress
ReplyDeleteflunk 1929
ReplyDeleteAll in the mind, all in the mind!
Danedweller 19:27
ReplyDeleteI believe jamie redknapps cousin is putting something substantial inside her must nights.;)
gaz 911, 1927
ReplyDeleteIs his middle name Bratwurst?
gaz911
ReplyDeleteIs he my cousin?
Must say that bloody advert is tooooo much.
flunk
ReplyDeleteI undersand CB refers to frank as HOB, as you are 'very close' is that anything to do with hobnobs?
danedweller 1952
ReplyDeleteThat's CB's desperate attempt at not being called a WAG. HOB - alledgedly Husband Or Boyfriend, but in reality Hopeless Old Bast--d.
Nevertheless, as he is a millionaire, something she has great experience of, other qualities can be overlooked, thus making him "content her very much". Mmmm!
flunk
ReplyDeleteShe is too up her own to be called a common WAG. Whether it is WAG or HOB it all comes down to the same thing. selling one's soul for MONEY!
Anyone know how old Debbie Reynolds is ?
ReplyDeleteJust thought if she was keen on Gyles, maybe AC could step into the breach for a bit of fun with the oldies.
Danedweller, I don't think it's her soul she's selling, lol. Debbie Reynolds was a good guest, hence AC's rather shirty expression at the end of the show. No thunder stealing please, the AC show must go on!
ReplyDeleteastroplums, Debbie Reynolds is 78. [tomorrow]
ReplyDeletejaded 2113
ReplyDeleteBlimey, she looks OK for a few face lifts. Good sport though!
astro, she looks a bl***y sight better than I do, for sure, but has always had a tongue that could slice soft butter!
ReplyDeleteDanedweller
ReplyDeleteFurther to Amanda Holden, I have just seen a trailer for a new quiz show which she is hosting with Chris Tarrant.
After the bad press about her last few efforts, I cannot understand why they keep using her. She is, in my opinion dire. Not much of looker either.
This blog is hotting up and getting spicy -good.
ReplyDeleteI wish Hokeykokeyalex would come back. I enjoyed our exchanges on TOSblog. Especially when we attempted to argue in Latin.
I'm away for the next couple of days.
Wow AC is doing well. They've doubled his salary and given him a golden handcuffs deal.
ReplyDeleteastroplums, Your 11:57:
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting. Where did you hear it?
Doubled his bloody salary**!!!**, from now on they will have to prise my licence fee out of my cold dead hands!
ReplyDeletejadedoldie. 12.19
ReplyDeletehttp://www.tpuc.org/stoppayingtvlicencefees
I have heard a few people who have contactd LBC claiming they are refusing to pay their licence,for reasons outlined on the above website.
you might like to take a look at this campaign, with a letter that can be printed off and sent to the beeb.
They have been getting funding for years from the EU, to ensure that they only get positive press.
astroplums 22.03
ReplyDeleteYes, I saw the trailer. She probably mentioned it on LBC yesterday morning but, I really mentally switched off when she started talking.
She was asked yesterday if she had a follow up to her last series, but she said nothing had been planned yet! Based on her ratings I doubt that anymore will be comissioned.
Let's hope the ratings for this program flops also so that the TV companies lose faith in this talentless Zedlberity. I don't think Chris Tarrant is as popular as he used to be. I find him to smug.
JH1200 Jadedoldie 1219
ReplyDeleteI've been a naughty boy!
Re AC's salary, knowing how much it would irk you and given it was 1157 on April 1st....
astroplums, the fact that I am foaming at the mouth and berating everything with a pulse within a five mile radius has not endeared you to my nearest and dearest, however I appreciate your joke, haven't felt so stimulated for WEEKS!!! Well done you.
ReplyDeleteastroplums
ReplyDeleteI think we have all fallen foul of your great April Fools prank. I was ready to rattle off an email to the BBC complaining! lol.
Don't knock the weather forecasters - it's one of the most difficult sciences.
ReplyDeleteoh no. not more f****king Dr Who
ReplyDeleteI am soooop pleased CB said TOS will be following the closure of Lewis's. However we know full well we will never here another word about it! Pointless comment.
ReplyDeleteastroplums 1904
ReplyDeleteYes, one of the most difficult sciences but why has the Met office led us to believe differently by continually having a long term forecast?
Here in DK, they give a 5 day forecast and then conclude that the long term outlook is unpredictable. How refreshing, unlike the Met office who have for years and years led us to believe that a long term forecast is within their capabilities.!!!
Here comes the april fool unicorns for f**k sake.
ReplyDeletedanedweller 1921
ReplyDeleteFair point.
Is CB attempting to stretch her network on AH's advice. Dr Who's assistant indeed.
Unicorn - April 1st Mmmm!
We could see it coming!
ReplyDeleteYes, she is gagging to be Dr Who's assistant. Any bets taken on how long it will be before she is appearing in the show?
ReplyDeleteI think I heard AC mummble something to the affect that she wouldn't be without his permission.
gaz911
ReplyDeleteIt's getting really soppy now.Still the kids will love it.
oh please, I hope CB has been evaporated
ReplyDeletejo 1929
ReplyDeleteLet's hope he takes her off to a black hole.
lol
ReplyDeleteAstroplums 19:29
ReplyDeleteThat unicorn April fool was total cr*p.Mind you I bet thats not the first time AC as had the horn sitting CB.;)......................Sorry!
gaz911
ReplyDeleteDon't know about poor old AC. It would have been a more convincing unicorn if they had taped it to CB's forehead. With those gnashers you could pass her off as Desert Orchid.
Red rum reincarnated
ReplyDeleteTry as he might, AC failed to really smile or let go tonight. Really miserable, I thought, under that facade.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they have come up with a revised deal for the Friday show and his nibs ain't so chuffed.
On the other hand it may be my misguided conspiracy theory.
flunk, 1959
ReplyDeleteLast night he was very animated and a lot more in tune with the guest. I don't think he does so well with the male guests. It would be an interesting exercise to observe his chemistry with the male and female guests in the future.
Then again, it's nearly the weekend and it is really hard work putting in all the hours he does so maybe he is just cream crackered. Possily the thought of being away from Christine over the long Easter break maybe just too much for him bear knowing she will be in the arms of 'fat lampard'.
danedweller 2005
ReplyDeleteHow dare you suggest that I am fat!
She may well be sitting on his face and this probably explains why jaded is so fascinated by her constant wriggling. She's practising, it's not Farmers.
I have, a secret confession. I cannot understand what she sees in that short a--e, with lifts in his shoes. Then, I am reminded of Caroline O'Hearns line "what first attracted you to the millionaire father of two children?"
Missed the show tonight, but the Aged One is mumbling somethimg about the Fat scruffy one [AC?} making the nice young man {not a clue} apologise for a bad word, enlighten me someone! Oh flunk, you have put a bad scene in my mind!!!!
ReplyDeletejadedoldie
ReplyDeleteThe guest was the new Doctor Who and he used the word "crap".
CB went off with the good Doctor at the end of the show. She may well have vapourised - we can only hope.
Your mind is nearly as bad as mine. I had a terrible night last night with Rachel, then Sophie turned up.
astro, was the new Doctor talking about TOS when he used that teeeeerrible word? was he actually pulled up in public about it? Can you vapourise a non-entity? You must be exhausted you poor lamb, get yourself a nice mug of complan before bed tonight, that will keep your pecker up, lol.
ReplyDeletejaded
ReplyDeleteNo he said it and then they went onto another piece. He obviously was advised to apologise when off screen.
He handled the apology in a pleasnt and humorous way.
I don't think it was ever offensive and probably an overreaction from TOS, as 'crap' is hardly a bad word these days. The apology actually brought more attention to what was a non event in the first place.
As you know I come from an age when swearing was a definite no-no, but I cannot for the life of me think who would find the word crap offensive, other than some officious little tree hugger in the throes of developing a rep for being PC. Sadly TOS seems to be in the hands of a multitude of these idiots. Please do not leave a possible insult unattended as they will pounce on it with glee, and convert it to a major issue!
ReplyDeleteAstroplums, I fell for your April Fool hook, line & sinker.
ReplyDeleteJH 1036
ReplyDeleteI knew that would have the steam coming out of your ears for a while!
God, Jay Raynor on TOS, folowed immediately by Master Chef with guess who, Jay Raynor.
ReplyDeleteThis guy is the worst spot on TOS.
The final countdown, can't wait!
ReplyDeleteI think the TOS street barber has had a go at Alex Drake's hair (Ashes to Ashes) looking at the syle of it in this series. Not a good look!
We can see who has eaten all the pies!
ReplyDeletepoor CB doesn't like rabbit being eating, she must have trouble sleeping at night.
ReplyDeleteeaten, oops
ReplyDeleteLying old Nun
ReplyDeleteJo
ReplyDeleteWhat was she lying about?
Religion, it's all fiction.
ReplyDeleteSo the Telly Copter might be coming some place near you soon. B----cks!
ReplyDeleteThat puddle jumper won't be going far from London.
What a waste of money that is.
Old CB must have felt a bit less in control when she had to take her stilts off in Stirling Moss's house.
jo 1918
ReplyDeleteCertainly agree with you there.
Christine got all excited when those things started popping in her mouth.I bet thats given Frank a few ideas.
ReplyDeleteastroplums 1934
ReplyDeleteIts margate I believe
GAZ911
ReplyDeleteWith those teeth, I'm sure he's hoping she doesn't sneeze at the same time. Oouch!
Danedweller, are you there? It's CB's friend AH. This 'Door' looks dreadful.
ReplyDeleteflunk 21.06
ReplyDeletesorry to have missed you! Didn't see it, but guessed it was just toooo dreadful for words!
It was too dreadful to watch. Horrendous.
ReplyDeletePerhaps worse is to come, as I have just watched a Channel 4 trailer for a comedy show on Monday and CB is apparently trying a few gags herself.
The world is going to the dogs!
By the dogs I assume you mean CB and AH. The thought of Chris Tarrant loving himself and AH struggling to string enough words together to form a sentence stopped me from even attempting to wtch this "show". When I consider the excellent shows that are either sidelined or tucked away on obscure channels I wonder whether the BBC is in fact operated from a secure ward somewhere!
ReplyDeleteThe problem with the BBC is that most producers are around the age of 30, who are out of touch with the 'real world' or those that live in it. They probably spend most of their time snorting stuff up their noses so they spend most of their time on a parallel universe somewhere, whilst drawing a huge salary.
ReplyDeleteVictoria Wood has given up writing for TV because she said scrips are now trawled over by numerous focus groups who consist of around 20 spotted youths, non of which are capable of making a decison to commission a series. What a loss to good tv.
oh I mean scripts
ReplyDeletedanedweller1807
ReplyDeleteWhen you consider just how P.C. TOS is, it's hardly surprising that writers would give up.
They will say nothing contentious or thought provoking. Debate is not allowed...it's just a dictatorial.
They might knock C4, but at least it has the cojones to look into subjects the BBC will not touch.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLove TOS's home page, where it says "see what's on for the next 10 nights". It actually tells you nothing. Needs to be changed to "see what's on tonight".
ReplyDeleteastroplums. 1838
ReplyDeleteYou have echoed my thoughts. I clicked on this link this eveing and thought was a total waste of time. Nothing about tonights features other than the guest, and as for the next 10 days, what a joke.
I did contact them, under the 'send us your story' link, and suggested a story where a 10 year old boy designed a website for TOS. Got the standard acknowledgement.
WOW!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAn hour long SPECTACULAR!
This telly copter piece is the worst thing on telly. Please, TOS, save our licence payers money and waste it on something worthwhile.
ReplyDeleteCB must be so busy in the 'compnay' of FL she hasn't had the time to go to the hairdressers in around 2 months.
ReplyDeleteWhilst AC has smartened up his act recently, CB is beginning to look like she needs a makeover. Perhaps AH will arrange it now she is her PR agent.
flunk,
ReplyDeleteIt is an abuse of licence payers money.
I also object to the one minute at a time telly copter segment as if we don't have the ability to follow the thread for any longer because we all have the attention span of an goldfish.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe fringe apparently hides things that she doesn't want you to see. Obviously the make up cannot do the job.
ReplyDeleteThe choir is fine, but rent-a-crowd behind it looks really messy.
At least the comedian has raised a laugh and a threesome of rabbits.
Looks like AC might fall off the end of the sofa. He is holding on with one cheek. lol
ReplyDeleteFascinating watching CB when Paul Heaton was singing. She was only interested in what was going on elsewhere in the studio. Hope FL is not in rent a crowd!
ReplyDeleteBut Margate was mind numbing and still more to come!
The umberella wind test, pity he didn't go to the wind tunnel in the fist instance!
ReplyDeleteTOS spends thousands of pounds sending AC and CB to Margate to play silly buggers on the beach.
ReplyDeleteIf rent a mob are all workers on the TOS Show, David Jason was right, there is a lot of dead wood at the BBC
Did nobody tell Margate that TOS was arriving! Nobody out on the streets in Margate to see the pathetic, but in the words of CB, ' a perfect Easter parade'. I have just witnessed a tragic piece of British TV.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the sourgrapes, but surely they can come up with something more interesting than these daft trips in that bloody tellycopter. I cringe when I hear it mentioned.
ReplyDeleteStone me, just been watching this comedy thing on C4 and CB pops up, wearing the mosts horrible stilts I've seen.
ReplyDeleteThat girl is trying too hard, in more ways than one.